A little of this, a little of that....

Well, hello again, all one of you. ;-)
I just cannot seem to catch the blogging habit. I READ blogs every day. I love them, I look forward to them but just always feel awkward trying to post on my own. Why is that?
*sigh*
Anyway, here goes. I am just going to ramble a bit and see what comes out.

1. Work - I continue to run my ebay business, selling collectible cottage treasures, vintage goodies, and a smattering of antiques. I find it a great way to add pennies to my purse, give me a reason to get out of the house, help my family out, and contribute to the household. It is not the type of job where I have to ask for, or work, for time off, I do not have a set schedule, and I only have myself to blame if I don't do well. It is nice to have the leisure to work for myself.
I spent a LOT of years pounding concrete and saving lives. It wore me out, gave me migraines, and made me old in many ways. But, I was a good nurse, I was a smart nurse, and I was a hard working nurse. While I cherish my RN degree and feel immense pride at having earned it by the age of 20, I could not do it again. I was a driven, competitive student while working full time at night as a nurses' aide, commuting 20 miles both ways to a full course load of college classes every day, driving 100 miles round trip for clinicals 2-3 times a week, and I still graduated from college with honors one week before my 21st birthday. I was the first person in my family to earn a college education and degree. I had my license on my first try at Boards and worked steadily over the years in a variety of settings including Emergency Room Supervisor, OR nurse, oncology nurse, trauma nurse, Infection Control Practitioner, Weight Control Clinic Office Manager, School Nurse, factory nurse, and several non-nursing jobs thrown in for interest including manager and buyer for a Hallmark Gift Store, owner of my own custom frame shop business, office manager for our heating and air business, and assorted putzy things thrown in for good measure. I also managed to be a full time parent to my wonderful daughter and was very active in her life and activities. I never missed a school event, church activity, dance class, pageant, talent show, or social engagement. I don't know how I did it. Honestly. I also acted in Community Theater, performed in charity variety shows, volunteered in our local festival every year, and was a typical Junior Leaguer. I also sang in the church choir, was social director for Sunday School, and was in charge of the church kitchen. I cannot remember when I slept. I also sewed all of my daughters' clothes, pageant wear, talent costumes, church choir robes, and crafted like a crazy woman. My home was featured on the Holiday Tour of Homes and I volunteered at school. Seriously, where did I get the hours and energy?! I have tons of scrapbooks and photo albums documenting all I was involved in. They make me tired just looking at them.

2. My life NOW - It is full, it is busy, it relaxed, it is secure, and I am blessed. And I am happy that frenetic, do-it-all period of my life is behind me.
After a bumpy start, the Feller and I have settled into a nice (boring) routine and we have new-found love and happiness with each other. We have almost 10 years together and it just gets better and better. I admit, when I first moved up here 4 years ago, I was a sad and lonely and hurting person.
I was suffering from extreme isolation (still do somewhat), rejection, empty nest syndrome, grief over losing my Momma, missing my sister and all of my sweet, loyal, caring friends I left behind. No one really understood - and they still don't - but I was as empty and miserable as they come. I thought I had one friend then - but even that turned out to be a lie. That hurt a lot. Still does - every day.
However, in the meantime, I have learned to cope, adjust, adapt, and almost forgive. I am still working on the "forgiveness" part. I have forgiven myself and the Feller but there remain others in my life who are harder proving to forgive. I am working on it though.
But, I am enjoying my life now, pretty much. I still love going junking and treasure hunting and it gives me reason to get out. I have made some pals along the way and I enjoy seeing them when I get out. Their warmth and friendliness means the world to me. Some are just regular customers like me, some are professional dealers, some are market vendors, some are just hobbyists who get out for the sake of getting out. We do have fun though. We chat and compare goodies and go our separate ways. No competition or greed. That is nice. Man, that part is nice!!! No junk is more important than a person and some folks lose sight of that.
I also look forward to finding wonderful vintage treasures to share with all my sweet customers. (nancyscottagetreasures) After all this time, I shop with names in my head and know what certain people would want me to buy. It makes it fun and I am happy to be so trusted. *Thank you, Girls!*

3. My Family - My sister is my BEST friend, my world, my FAMILY. She has been ill and I worry about her SO much! When you are running out of family, siblings start meaning a lot more. I only have her, no other sisters and no brothers. We are each other's last "blood" family, aside from our children, and two uncles who both live in Texas. I was able to spend a long time with my sister and her family during and after the holidays and was on hand to be her nurse when she had surgery 2 days after Christmas. She is still trying to recover and I feel so burdened for her. She is a long time lupus patient and she does not bounce back very quickly. She added me to her family cellular plan and we talk on our cell phones daily. It has been so wonderful to reconnect with her and stay in tune with day to day stuff. *I love and miss you, Sissy!*
My daughter - What a lovely young woman she has become. She should graduate from Emory in May. (PLEASE!) She has struggled with her grades which has been hard for me as she was always a straight A, driven student. I think the course challenges and lure of ATL city life distracted her and it makes me sad and stressed. But, I am trying to believe her when she assures me she has it under control. Between that and her choice of her boy friend, I get a headache. And a heart ache. But she is not a child. I can only pray for the right choices to be made and pray extra hard that *boy* does not become a more permanent part of our family since I will never like or respect or trust him. She could do SO much better. My skin crawls when I just hear his name. *sniff* I want so much to like my daughter's feller. Why does it have to be one who has been nasty and mean and ugly? Oh well. *pray*pray*pray*

4.My Fun - Travel! Yay! After deciding not to buy another house out of state last year, we can breathe a little easier and not feel so much stress to manage two homes. So, the Feller is going to come back here. He just has a few months left on his contract and we are already gearing up to enjoy it. We have two trips pending right now. We are going to San Francisco next month, my first time to California, and we already have our tickets to go to Toronto and Niagara in April. Then we will go to Atlanta in May for graduation. After that, probably go back to the beach and maybe back to Europe. We will see. I want to go to Italy - for real. We have been nursing that dream for too long now and we have no excuse except laziness.
We also plan to spend time, LOTS of time, on the local lakes with one of our 5 boats. I am so excited! (He is not allowed to buy another boat!!)
We have been wanting to get back to traveling for some time now and finally, we just said, "Let's do it!" So, we are. I will work around it...another reason I ebay and work from home. I can take off when I want to. I have been getting all my travel stuff in order. The rules and limitations are so strict now, I am trying to get my one bag done that will serve as my go-to bag each time we decide to hop a plane. I am fickle so it is taking me a while.
We are also wanting to work on our house a bit. We want to add another large, 4 car garage for all of our boats, cars and stuff. I have several ideas for the house as well and just need him to get back home so we can work on it. I am not interested in a big re-do of decorating. I am not one to change and waste money on different looks all the time. I just want to fine tune what we have, what we love, and give it all a fresher look. We are not defined by our home but I do want it to reflect who we are and less about what we have. We both like comfort and quality, not "stuff" for the sake of stuff. We bought the land adjoining ours to limit having anyone build next to us so we have plenty of room to stretch out a little.

5. Random Stuff - I want to move. BADLY! I do not want to live here anymore since we really have no ties here. We have no family, no close friends, no work obligations. I want to be closer to my family and friends. I miss them SO much and not being close enough to attend weddings, funerals, showers, celebrations, etc., is sad for me. I need to be around the people I love and who love me back. When I was home for the holidays, not a day went by that someone didn't talk to me, joke with me, care about me, and just let me know I matter as a person. Oh, how it touched my heart! I LOVE my friends! I have yet to find any true, loyal friends here and after over 4 years of trying, it is not going to happen. Other than loving our house (which we do, a lot), we have no good reason to continue to live in this place. We do have one set of friends who are kind and faithful and true but we have such different life styles. We are older and they are young, with small babies. It is hard to get together. Other than them, we have yet to make any real friends. We each left tons of good pals to live here. That is not right. So, that is heavy on my heart. I really hope we can make some plans in that direction this year. For over a year, I have been living here alone and let me tell you, I hate it more now than I ever thought I could. Other than getting out and seeing my casual thrifting pals, I have no other social contacts. I have tried, HARD!, but folks are not that easy to get to know when you are viewed as an outsider. This is a weird, weird place. I am tired of dealing with it.

That is pretty much my strange little life in the condensed form.
I know I am not well known in the popular mommy-blog-o-sphere (one would have to regularly blog for that to happen!) but I know so many of you well. I read you, I admire you, I like you, I make the occasional comment, and I want to thank you for making my days brighter and warmer. Many times I read your blogs and pretend you are my BFF and that I have not spent the last three days just puttering between floors of this house, playing hide and seek with my cat, and talking to myself. I swear, I am a loon but I am a safe, happy loon. ;-)

Until next time, whenever that might be.