Friday, November 10, 2006

*DISCLAIMER: I love men, but they are fun to pick at!

Masculine Maladies...

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...


* * *

A couple is lying in bed.

The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

* * *


"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

* * *

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

* * *


A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

* * *


Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

* * *


Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

* * *


Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

* * *


Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

* * *


Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

* * *


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"


* * *


Ok, Ok,......I am NOT man-bashing, just having a little fun. Ya' gotta' admit, some of them are just TOO funny!
Happy TGIF!
(and don't forget to hug your guy today!)

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh! These were good medicine. Thank you for putting them here. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Whew.

Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

These were very funny!! Go U of O!!

Oh my!!

Happy Thanksgiving!