~Presenting Her Most Royal Pain Highness~

Borrowed this bit of fun from boomama.

I had several choices...nothing like an all-you-can-eat-buffet of Royal Titles......

I can SO envision the cupped hand, tight fingered wave and talking through my nose .......

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Most Serene Highness Lady Nancourt the Mirthful of Bampton Underhoop Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Kinda' got a kick out of being the Head of Lesser Cheese, ya' know? And purple.....

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Countess Nancourt the Purple of Lesser Cheese Winston Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

I think sardonic and leering in the same title is rather fitting......

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Empress Nancourt the Sardonic of Goosnargh Leering Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

But, somehow, this one just fits the best........

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Lady Madame Nancy the Scattered of Oxbridge by Camford Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Switcheroo......

I finally took the plunge......

I switched to new blogger.

I do not like change so have been putting it off.

However, after reading good things about it, being aggravated at how slow my other version was, I decided to give it a whirl.

This is my first try...........I'll let you know how it goes.
(I AM digging the color options....I DO like to dress up!)

Now, back to regularly scheduled programming.

~*~Looky What I Won!~*~

Well, my comment was selected as one of the winner's on Lindsey's site, "Surburban Turmoil"! Thank you!

Yay! I am so surprised and flattered!
This is my "winning entry": (it sounds so GRAPHIC taken out of context!):-)

"I was sitting on the pot in my third trimester with this big old uterus resting on my upper thighs. I saw a bit of lint or something on the floor and reached down to pick it up.
*POP* ScReAM!!!!
I broke my zyphoid process....for freakin'real. It is that little wiggly, dangly portion at the end of your sternum, at the bottom of your rib cage...the part of the body that can be broken during CPR if not careful. However, NO ONE warned me you can break your own if you have a really large uterus and you pound it into the top of your equally large late-pregnancy fat thighs while taking a constipated dump!
I felt like I had been stabbed and could not straighten up. So, I sat there on the pot, barely able to reach around to give a courtesy flush before screaming for the hubs to come rescue me.
I told my doc about it who totally blew me off with "you can't break those like that!" (Duh, I am a nurse and I KNOW you can...and I DID!)
Fast forward to delivery and skipping the whole horror that was my labor. When the kid with the watermelon sized head was finally out, the doc looks over my blue paper draped knees and sees my zyphoid process pointing all wonky toward my right leg. He said, "Hum, I guess maybe you DID break it after all."
Then he reached up and POPPED that sucker back into place! If I could have gotten my fat legs off those stirrups, he would have gotten a round house kick to the head he would never have forgotten!
Annnnnd, I had to suffer the embarassment of the snickers and whispers from almost the enire hospital staff (I was an ER/OR nurse there at the time) when they HAD to come see my self-inflicted, almost-episiotomy.
It happened like this:
I roll my fat blob self out of a water bed (??!!) on the morning of delivery with the tremendous urge to pee YET AGAIN..only to discover it was my water breaking...so I take a shower to get all April fresh or whatever...step out to dry myself off, swipe "down there" as best I could...what with a 400 pound baby inside me and a broken zyphoid process and all. I feel a searing pain...and draw back a bloody towel and figure I had just given birth but can't find the baby.
Nah, it seems I had given an extra vigorous drying to "sensitive tissues" with a towel that an errant sewing needle had nested into during the wash....and I ripped that sucker right thru the you-know-what!
Yeah, that one was good for a few Nurse Lounge laughs.
But I got revenge on all of them cause I had diarrhea with every labor pain and they had to take care of that. So there."


Told you....hope you weren't eating when you read that.

The Accidental Contest

I love to read blogs...most are mommy blogs and while I AM a mommy, I am not a NEW mommy or a young mommy......however, I can recall with vivid detail what transpired in the process of making me an old mommy.

It was a small recounting of pregnancy stories or "The Hall of Horrors aka The Delivery Room" comment thingie that found me in the midst of my very FIRST blogging contest and I am just "honored to have been nominated". No, really....truly....I mean it!
I tend to be a wanderer...I wander from one blog to another, leave a comment or two...don't get involved in swaps or stuff because I am afraid of letting someone down when I get too busy to be a good playmate.
So, this has just tickled the heck out of me.

Go HERE to read the good stuff and vote if it suits you. There are some ding-dang doozies there!
(And I am number 13, you know? Just in case you wondered or whatever.....)

Thanks to Lindsey, the coolest mom ever......the one who makes me snort into my cornflakes on a regular basis.

~The Purina Diet~

In honor of all broken New Year's Resolutions to lose weight (mine included), I give you a copy of a diet. I don't know who wrote it.
If you did, thanks for the laugh and please don't sue me. I will give you credit and salute you.....

*caution-do not read this with liquid in your mouth*

"The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting "The
Purina Diet" again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door."

WFMW Fabric Softener Economy

I love the way my laundry feels and smells when I add laundry softener. What I don't like is a heavy aroma or decreased towel absorbency and most of all, the gunk that can accumulate in the automatic dispenser after a while.
So, I save an empty bottle. I buy the large sized bottles, like Sauvitel, or a carton of refill.
When my big bottle is empty and I buy another bottle, I pour half of the new bottle into the old one. I then fill both of them up with water. Not only do I get twice as much for the same price, I notice very little difference in the effectiveness - with the exception of a less strong fragrance and greater towel absorbency.
I have to buy product only half as often, I clean the dispenser a LOT less, and my laundry still has a pleasant fragrance and softness.

Try it for one bottle. If you don't think you are getting as much "bang" as you like, you can always go back to undiluted. However, if you can't discern a great difference, like me, you can save a few pennies here and there. :-)

Works for me!

Don't forget to go to Shannon's to check out the other Works-For-Me Wednesday tips!

~*~Happiness Is............~*~

....finding a sweet SURPRISE gift on your front porch from your college daughter. What better way to brighten a cold, dreary, winter day?!



My lovely, sweet child sent me a wall calendar with pictures of vintage nurses (since I am a nurse), a desk calendar for my bull sign, Taurus, and a new CD of music she selected and burned for me.

It just warmed my heart and day. :-)

I love you, Sweet Baby!

DoNUT or DoNOT?? You Do? You Don't?

If I can't eat them, I can sure THINK about them! :-)



Be honest now...........your mouth is watering as much as mine! Right? Right??!!
(Stop licking the screen! Now!)

What Donut Are You?

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Yup..........it has me pegged........right down to the donut hole!

~Thursday Thirteen~

Thirteen Things about ME! I have been seeing these for a while..... Here is mine....in all it's wondrous glory.......or whatever. 1. This is a Virginal Thursday Thirteen, as in, "My First Time!". Please be gentle.... 2. Happy Birthday today to My Feller! *muhwahh!* Wish we could be together but ya' know I have your present *right here* when you come home next month. *wink-wink* 3. A week ago was also my Baby Girl's 22nd birthday and I was a bad-mommy and did not recognize it here. So, here ya' go, Sweet Baby....~*~HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHICKIE!~*~ I love you to pieces! 4. I am astrologically challenged by having the two closest people in the world to me being Capricorns. Tell me, have you ever met anyone as moody as a Cappy goat can be?! *jeez* 5. House hunting via the internet sucks. 6. House hunting via the internet for the second time in three years sucks bigger. 7. House hunting via the internet when you already KNOW which house you wants sucks the biggest of all. 8. Obviously, I have a "sucks" fetish...... 9. It has finally turned winter time here.......and now it can leave, thank you. 10. I need to lose weight. 11. The only way I am going to shed this 20 pounds is to cut a fat leg off or sumthin'. 12. That would suck...... 13. OMG, I actually made it to 13! If you are still here, you don't suck. ;-D

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

These boots are made for walking...

....or at least for making me smile.

Yessir-ee, sir. I gots me some RED boots.

Sometimes on a dark, dreary, rainy winter day, when the whole world just feels "wet-blehh"....ya' get an itch that begs to be scratched.

So.....I hit my favorite Thrift Store..."just looking", ya' know?

But wait, I hear my name...very faintly being whispered and then getting more insistent and louder as I tried to ignore the obvious.
But noooooo! It was not to be denied!

Sitting there amidst all the sad, worn grandma' sensible shoes, the stinky athletic shoes (WHO would put their feet in those?!), the out of season flip flops and sandals, the too-gothic-for-me chunky black and silver chained combat boots....sat THESE!!



Bless my heart, they make me want to go boot scootin', cowboy chasin', and watch out....maybe even a bit of butt kickin'!

But seriously.....I know they are so rock-a-billy tacky but they were TOO tempting to pass up for $2.00! They don't even have trying-on scuffs on the soles and they ARE 100% leather. They have to be real cowgirl boots 'cause they even have a cactus imprint on the soles! How cool is that?
I know my daughter will either hate them or think they are bitchin'.....but regardless, I am going to wear them.....even if it is just strutting around my bedroom, tipping my old straw cowboy hat, listening to some Hank Jr., and pretending I am a "Cowboys' Sweetheart"!


And today.........these red boots made me smile.

"Instructions for Life"

1. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
2. Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
3. Mind your own business.
4. Don't trust someone who doesn't close their eyes when you kiss them.
5. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
6. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living.
That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
7. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
8. Learn the rules then break some.
9. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is
greater than your need for each other.
10. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
11. Remember that your character is your destiny.
12. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
13. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
14. Turn frustrations into opportunities.

15. Add your own.............

2006 Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

I snorkeled for the first time, off the coast of Cozumel, and after I nearly drowned, thanks to an ill-fitting mask and my sweet
Feller had to come to my rescue...I LOVED it! I wish all the coral had not been destroyed from the hurricane the year before but we still saw some really cool fish. We both are ready to return.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions,
and will you make more for next year?

I do not usually make resolutions as I see them as an invitation to fail and become discouraged, But I set some goals through out the year and I am happy to say I met or almost met most of them. This year, I am aiming for getting in better physical shape and becoming more organized. This may be harder to do since I will probably be setting up a second home in another state...so two homes to keep straight. Eh, I won't think about THAT right now.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, I had the joy of meeting my 7 week old great niece and 11 week old great-GREAT nephew at Christmas. Both babies were born in Detroit but my great nephew has moved his little family back home to Arkansas so I will get to see little Jagur more, I hope, when I go home for visits.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I did not lose any family this year, which is a blessing since I lost my Mom the year before. However, a special friend, Winthrop Rockefeller, Lt. Gov of Arkansas, passed away and it made me very sad. He was too young and the last time I saw him, he was still healthy, vibrant, funny, and as charming as ever. I treasure the last picture made of us together. My Feller was the photographer and we recalled what a genuine person Win was......he is missed.
And.......
She was not a human person, but my sweet little Patches had to be put down this fall. I adored that little dog and thought my heart would break for several weeks. Patches got me through some pretty dark spots in my life and her absence is acute some days. She was my precious Lumpy Dumpy.......I miss her so.

5. What countries did you visit?

We went to Mexico this year and Paris the year before. We hope to go to Italy this year if Feller can get off work.

6. What would you like to have in 2007
that you lacked in 2006?

More organization, more free time (which is silly since I do not have a public job and should be able to just back up and say "No work today!), more friends.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched
upon your memory, and why?

I do not really have any specific dates since nothing earth shattering happened to me last year. However, my daughter and I both had milestone birthdays so I guess I will say Jan 10 and May 19.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Achieving a level of success in my home based business and being a better person/partner to my Feller.


9. What was your biggest failure?

Working too much and letting my home go. My cottage business has taken over my home and I MUST eliminate that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Unfortunately, I was plagued by one or another complaints a lot of the year. I really need to take better care of my health. Feller does a great job taking care of me but since he is now living in another state, I cannot afford to have some of the same issues recur. I am getting old...parts wear out....but I still think I am 25 years old. Reality check!!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I did not buy it but Feller bought me a new car to replace the one I literally drove until it would not move. I love my new ride and am so very appreciative of it and it is MINE.....no car payments.....just get in it and go!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I would like to say my daughter but she still worries the heck out of me. I am praying this is the year maturity finally takes up residence with her and the wild-life, carefree college mind set settles down. {Please God, I am just praying....}
I would have to say Feller once more. After a bumpy start, we are finally settling into a much more giving and peaceful place. We are both very determined and head strong and each of us have lived on our own for so long, we have had to adjust to sharing space. We are so much better now.....and then he moves again. *sheesh*

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The one person I called friend here. Money is indeed the root of all evil and it destroyed a relationship I valued so much. Competition and greed killed it and it still hurts my heart and makes me sad but I cannot change anyone but myself and I have to accept who a person shows me they are.....even though it hurts. I miss her but she obviously did not need me as much as I needed her and I put a lot of my heart into my friendships. It hurts when they wither........

14. Where did most of your money go?

Business related expenses and my daughter, who always seems to live beyond her means. I have been letting her know she is about to be on her own and she better learn to stay out of the malls. I also help out my sis and her family now that he cannot work due to injuy.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Um, nothing really got me going that much. Travel does it for me so I would have to say our cruise trip to Mexico and our week in Boston.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

The only one that really stands out to me is one of Carrie Underwood's, "Jesus Take The Wheel". Not only does she have a beautiful voice, the message is so true and one we all need to hear.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
c) richer or poorer?richer


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More R & R with Feller while he had the whole summer off. We live near two lakes, we have three boats, and none of them got wet all summer. That is just pathetic.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Work. And, I work on the computer so I now have PC butt.....I need to get that taken care of.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I went home to Arkansas and saw my Baby Girl and my sister's large family. I got to meet the 2 new babies and a new great niece in law, my nephew's serious girlfriend. We had such a lovely time and it warmed my heart to be with my family. I just wish Feller could have been there too.......

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?

I fell back in love with My Love......and it is truly better the second time around.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

I have several I like: ER, American Idol, Survivor, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy.... I'm shallow, I admit it. My all time favorite, makes-me-laugh-till-I-snort: America's Funniest Videos. I LOVE that show and it guarantees me a belly laugh a day. I guess I just love slap stick and real life comedy.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t
hate this time last year?

I don't hate anyone but I have a great heart hurt from one person and sadly, I don't think she is even aware of how much her actions wounded me.

25. What was the best book you read?

I did not read a book last year.....really. How totally loser can I be? I started several, finished none. I'm telling you, all I did was WORK. When I was not working, I was recovering. Ask Feller....I was a machine.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

This past year? Hum....well......is none an answer? Truly, I guess it would have to be the CD's my daughter makes me. I have lost touch with all new music since she went to college but she makes CD's for me and I always love her selections. I am such a boring fuddy duddy.

27. What did you want and get?

A new car.......got it.......love it! It has POWER! So much so, I got a speeding ticket coming home from Arkansas after Christmas. Talk a post-holiday let down. *jeez louise*

28. What did you want and not get?

A new cell phone of my very own. Have to tell you - the longest, worst, on-going battle the Feller and I have is his stubbornness over the cell phone issue. (besides the fact that he is a such a tight wad) I am using his. He insists that is acceptable........but it is not and we have one argument after another over it. There is no simple solution so it just drags on always.

29. What movies did you see - favorite?

I did not enter a movie theater all year. Again, I am a dull slug.

30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

Well, I had "The Biggie" and Feller took me to eat. We did not do a lot but I have a Trip Ticket in my drawer which will take me wherever I choose. I am still trying to decide. I also have my choice of a really nice curio cabinet waiting to be picked out. I am holding off until we get our other house since this house is full. I need it now since I have so many delightful little treasures that need a proper home but I want a nice area to display it so I am waiting to make a choice.

31. What one thing would have made your year
immeasurably more satisfying?

Organization, time management, play, exercise........and not feeling like crap nearly the whole year. I hit "The Big Mark" and my body celebrated by falling apart, one piece at a time. I am hoping it has all settled in one soft, flabby mass and will behave this year.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Simplify. I tried to limit new purchases and only add those things that would compliment my existing wardrobe. I did splurge on some cutesy cruise wear but that was a special thing, not a life style change. I am all about comfort and coordinating so packing for trips is easier. I like black and neutral colors and like looking put together so that is what I watch for. Plus, I am a huge bargain shopper so anything on sale that works, I buy a bunch. I have more plain white tee shirts than anyone I know...and I live in them. Really, a white tee goes with and under anything. But, only buy good ones that do not shrink or stretch out of shape. LOVE them.

32. What kept you sane?

Have not found that magic pill yet......I tend to be a goof. No, seriously, I meditate and pray a lot. I have a special place where I can look at my woods and it always medicates my soul.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I don't fancy any of them, really. I think most of them are self-absorbed and shallow. I do adore Tom Hanks but that is because I just want to hang out with him and be his buddy pal.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Our president. The man irritates and infuriates me. I could get on a huge soap box here but won't. Let it be said, it is way past time for a change and hopefully, with someone who can speak without sounding like a backwoods idiot.

36. Who did you miss?

My Mom, my family, my daughter, my Feller when he is working, and my friends.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Can't say I really met anyone new. I do not work outside the home, I do not have a social life in the place I live now, and don't get out much. I did meet a really nice, totally cool gal when we went on a business trip to NC. She is the wife of the Chairman of the Board for the hospital and I found out she used to live in my home town and we know some of the same people. That excites me since I may have a built in pal if I ever get to move there.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.

I re- learned that people will and can hurt you and that opening your heart to folks is risking having it broken. I have always known this but it still catches me off guard when it happens and it takes me a while to recover. I also learned that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Well, i have known that all aong but there are times, it is a more acute lesson.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I can't. I cannot think of a single song that sums up my year. Maybe I will edit if I get a flash of inspiration but please don't hold your breath. I do not want to be the reason anyone passes out and falls off their chair. 'K?


I tag anyone who wants to do this. Hopefully, it won't take you as long as it did me. If you do it, please leave a comment so I can read yours too!